Penn. - - - - - - - Tenn.

I originally wrote this last Monday, but never posted it. Here's the update on our first Summit in Winfield, Pennsylvania, and our adventures at the beginning of the Summit here in Chattanooga, Tennessee!
"God is so good.
The summit at Winfield Baptist was truly wonderful. Honestly, the church was quiet and not as expressive as many team members hoped, especially the worship team who looks for outward flowings of praise.  (I mentioned Luke 5 in my previous blog post- it was at the Penn summit that God revealed that to me, specifically on the matter of doing the work we've been called to with joy and love and diligence, even if we don't see the results.) Yet the depth of wisdom and love we CM's got to see in the kids' hearts was awesome, and very unexpected. As a Happy Heart City teacher, I work with kids 4 to 7 years old. We had quite a few 5 year olds in club at Winfield. Several answered questions about sin, God's love, and forgiveness, with knowledge and clarity that baffled me. It was encouraging too to see how their attention spans and will to obey grew with the 11 days we were there. They came because they wanted to learn; we were continuously hearing stories that kids were telling their parents they didn't want to go to soccer practice or to their ball game, but they wanted to come to church instead. And it was incredible to see because we don't just play games and eat food. We teach some hard core lessons to these kiddos and despite the rules and deep discussions and sometimes LONG days, they wanted to come, they found joy in coming-- not because their friends were there, not even because the teachers are cool (okay, we are, but we're pretty weird), but because they were seeing how good and holy and loving our God is, and I truly believe that many of them were at least beginning to sense how God is the only One who can satisfy the longings in their hearts. At elementary age it's hard to pinpoint what that desire, that longing for fellowship with Him, looks like; at nineteen, it's imposible to describe precisely. But I got to see it unraveling in their attitudes and lives, and for that sliver of time I had with  them, I am eternally grateful. One of the little boys we had was very energetic, had a very hard time focusing and paying attention, and received several warnings and got to his 2nd strike (3 is the time out or "no-fun" chair)  more than once; yet toward the end of the summit, he was listening, praying, and talking to us teachers and offering to help us, besides just being gentler and kinder to the other kids. When we were leaving, one little girl who had come in very shy and afraid of new places, came and gave me a hug about 5 different times. One time she said, "I wish you could stay here and be my teacher forever." And right before she walked out of the church with her mom, she said "Bye! I hope to see you again sometime!"  She was only 6.  
Each of the kids I got to say goodbye to, I told them what God had impressed upon me to say, and that is "God loves you so much. Don't ever forget that. You are so loved."   It was a bittersweet time, to say the least. I have each of their names in my journal and their faces in my mind, and I pray I never forget them.
Besides the happenings at the church, I was blessed to stay with three of my host sisters, Amanda, Jennifer and Abby, in a remodled farmhouse just down the road from our amazing host family, the Hoffmans'.  Outside, we were surrounded by the beautiful Penn mountains that enraptured us every time we looked around, everywhere we went. Inside, we felt like we'd stepped into Green Gables. The Hoffman's were giving as giving could get. We couldn't say thank you enough for how they blessed us, not just with a beautiful home and the best cooking in the Western Hemisphere, but for their hearts and the love of Jesus they reflected to us.  Our last Sunday meal with them, we shared family stories of the past and I laughed so hard my head ached for an hour! And to say we four girls had a good time together in our sweet farmhouse is an understatement.  We have stories....many stories. Most will never be told. :)
Now here we are at Oakwood Baptist Church in Chattanooga, Tennessee! Shortly after getting here, I realized that outside of Michigan, the state I've spent the most time in collectively is Tennessee. I joke up North that I'm a Southern girl at heart. I feel so at home...it's almost like I become myself down here. Which sounds odd, I know. I suppose it's the atmosphere. People speak their minds here.  The hospitality is matchless.  The sense of gentle love and fiery determination that go hand in hand are absolutely beautiful.
Yesterday was our first Sunday of the summit here. The pastors and families are eager to know more of God and are hungry for His word. The worship team has been encouraged by the response in praise here, for certain.  Sunday morning was interesting in Happy Heart. We teachers struggled at first to keep our energy up and be passionate about our teaching; we only had 6 kids, and them being all boys (and truthfully, several don't mind our Sit Up and Look Up rules too well), we were a little flustered and by the end, slightly discouraged.  But come last night, when we as a team all gathered in the sanctuary for prayer, we spent the session reading passages of scripture out loud, verses of praise or adoration as well as prayers for personal spiritual needs and needs of the congregation for revival. One verse stood out like it was in 3D.
Isaiah 66:1  : "Thus says the LORD, 'Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; what is the house that you would build for me, and what is the place of my rest? All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be', declares the LORD. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word."
I realized my spirit was not humbled before God, even though I deeply loved Him and His word; that passage and all the others reveberating around me convicted me in a beautiful way. I am so full of hope for this mission, for this church and what I am confident God is going to do! I've been praying He would fill me with a fire and a joy of His spirit within me:  He has and continues to answer my plea.
A sweet thing happened last night. One little four year old boy named Dre disobeyed multiple times in a row and I had to take him out into the hallway with another teacher and talk with him. He cried at first because he was upset he was being punished, but after explaining to Him why God wants us to obey, that it's because He loves us, and telling Him about God's forgiveness, he calmed down a bit; he didn't seem to be listening to what I was telling Him about the rules, though he did say he'd learned a Bible verse and then proceeded to recite John 3:16. But when I told him that we teachers love him and we want him there,  he was quiet for a second, then said emphatically tha he just wants to pay attention. I told him that's good, and I promised to help him pay attention by reminding him and such. I wasn't sure how much of our conversation stuck, but he was incredibly attentive the rest of the night, for story, craft and game. And when I spoke to him and gave him directions, he would actually look at me, listen and respond in obedience.  Even such a little transformation astounded me. But God saved the golden moment for the end of the night. After club, I had to explain to his mom why he got his 2nd strike and how we'd talked about forgiveness and obedience, shared that he'd told me he wanted to pay attention more, and also that he did do a great job listening the rest of the night. She was surprised but very pleased to hear about it. As they walked down the hall hand in hand, Dre looked up at his mom and said, "I can't wait to come back to this church again."  He's just four years old. Granted, he acts and talks like a gangster man, but he's got a softness in him that is hard to get to; I felt like I'd been given the moon just to be blessed with a few moments of seeing that soft spot. I love him to death...."

Aaaaand here's my recap on the remainder of this summit in Chattanooga:

Oh my.
There were difficult days. Several very difficult days. From being so sick I had to stay home from two nights of services, to questioning God's good purposes throughout history...from wanting to be alone for days at a time, to feeling so distant from people, and then realizing I hadn't been focusing on others and loving them like God tells me to... it was like an internal roller coaster through deserts and torrential rains day to day these past (almost) two weeks. Sunday morning and evening, I finally was well enough to come into church and teach and be with the Happy Heart teachers and kids.
And, those two last meetings, the good Lord sent a beautiful little girl named Jayne to our Happy Heart City club. Every kid is special. And, there are many boys and girls throughout my life who have each stolen a very special part of my heart. There was something different about this little girl. I can't describe it at all. I'm just thankful God planned for her to be there and to be a blessing to me and the other teachers, even if it was for one day. I was truthfully a little relieved that I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to her at first, because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to say; now I am sad that I didn't, because truly I believe God is going to do something big through her in her life, and I wish I could have told her so, and told her how much God loves her. I don't even know her last name. But I won't ever forget her. At least I pray I won't.
Our host family has been absolutely amazing. I love them so much and they feel like family to me already. It's going to be very hard to say goodbye to Miss Kim, Mr. "Chief" Aaron (he's a Cherokee chief), Alexandra and Abigail. Mr. Aaron, Abigail, my team sis & roomie for this summit, Olivia, and I have had some of the most deep and edifying conversations on eternal matters that I have ever been fortunate enough to be a part of in my entire life, outside my immediate family. Our adventures with them are not over yet, so I will not recap too much on them until after I've tearfully said farewell. ;)
Tonight we all went to see Alexandra play volleyball and after that, to watch Abigails' soccer game. I enjoyed it immensely, but I found myself disliking sitting on the sidelines because I wanted so badly to go out and play (for anyone that doesn't know, I actually adore playing sports! It's one of my favorite things to do; ask almost anyone who has played athletic games with me- I really get into the game. Sometimes watching sports is stressful for me, though, because I feel so strongly that my place is out on the field! :) )
Random Ang fun facts aside.

The greatest thing I learned this summit:

God is good all the time, even when I might not think so.
Starting last Tuesday, I read all through Exodus, Leviticus and the first half of Numbers in two days. I found myself questioning all throughout, "If this is God's perfect plan of how things should be- the regulations for sacrifices, atonement, punishment, etc. - then why did He go back on it and undo it all later? Why did He require sacrifices in the first place if He would later say that they aren't good enough? Did God change His mind? Why did He create one system that leads to forgiveness of sins, and then condemn that, and send Jesus?"

Jesus came to fulfill the law. He didn't make a flawed order just to reject it later. Jesus is God. God came down. God came down because He desired to rescue us. He's that passionate and reckless in love with the people He has made. 

"But did He only do such a reckless thing as to forsake His own established laws, call them insufficient and set up a new standard for forgiveness, just to get us back so we would finally glorify Him as He wants? Why didn't He come down sooner, if it was the only way to life? If heaven is perfect and what God desires, then why did He allow sin to be an option in the first place?" 

Earth is like our testing grounds. We follow hard after Him and determine to love Him above all else and live in fellowship with His Spirit here on earth, and then when the new heaven and new earth are made, sin will be forever defeated, it will be no more, it will not even exist to be an option, and as my host dad Aaron spoke, "I think we will have no desire to choose sin anymore."  All our desire will be for God alone.

It confuses me, and though I know I won't ever figure out even a tiny percentage of the mysteries of our Creator and Sustainer and His sovereign plan, I can't ignore these questions.  Many of these questions in my mind were wrong. I have asked the Lord's forgiveness for being so foolish as to put His character under human scrutiny, comparing His methods and intentions and desires to our own fleshly, flawed ones; even without meaning to, I did, and it was a horrible thing I am exceedingly grateful He convicted me of!
He's taught me to trust Him. What He intended for good- planting a desire in me to read the Old Testament to better get the big picture of His plan for eternity and salvation - the devil tried to twist to disappointment. I honestly was confused and felt a little betrayed, that this God of such regulations and extensive rules over physical temporary things and comparatively little talk of love or compassion is the same God in the Gospel who says the law is not enough and speaks highly of love and compassion. This was sinful of me in my flesh: not to question, for I believe the Lord gives us a spirit of curiosity for good, but instead to lose a little bit of hope, a little bit of faith, because of my own confusion. I was trying to interpret all this on my own, trusting that God would guide me through it and give me His wisdom- but I failed to ask Him for His wisdom. I leaned too heavily on the "I don't need a study guide to read the Pentateuch" idea.

God is actually just now, in these moments as I write, bringing all this to mind. 

God is God.
He never changes.
Oh, I am so unworthy even to speak His name. Wretch that I am has been chosen to be in His family! I want to fall to my knees and weep at every thought of His goodness and love, and yet He has given me the freedom to stand. He's been with me all the way. He's done mighty deeds in billions of lives. He is I AM. All that He has revealed to me of Himself my few years alive overwhelms me. He is truth; all that He says is truth. Oh, God, forgive me for searching for meaning and truth outside of You. Thank you for seeing into the depths of my mind and calling me out where I am grieving You. Thank you for reminding me of Your Holiness.

You are Holy. 
You are Just.
You are Good.
You are Faithful.
You are Good.
You are Sovereign.
You are Love.

Dear God, You are more than I will ever know!  And yet You have delighted to reveal these things about Yourself to your wandering children to give them a future and a hope and to assure them that You are to be trusted.
Above all else.
Above all.

My heart will sing 

no other name

Jesus

Jesus...

sin sin.

(I looked up the Chinese word for faith, and literally, "sin sin" means "faith, trust, confidence, reliance".)




God thought it would be cool to surprise me last night... through, "like, 15 different things all together", as my host home sister Abigail said.

I could say I have developed a burden for evangelism this past year. But it is nothing like a chore or a checklist duty. There are times I feel like it is, when I let the reality of my choices to shirk away from this enormous privilege out of fear fester into guilt and doubt. I've had a growing desire to tell people about God. Every time I pray and worship Him, I want to tell others about Him and His word and Jesus and what He's done! But I haven't...I haven't approached strangers or asked people about their faith, because....well, we already know all the "logical" reasoning behind it. But I've been praying for confidence and assurance of faith for months now. And last night, the Lord convicted me during one of our praise times at the church here, that I have been prideful in not surrendering to the Holy Spirit's leading. I haven't consciously said "yes, Lord, wherever you specifically lead me, I will go, when you call". My reasoning was fear that I can't discern the Lord's voice. I was afraid of misinterpreting something and acting outside His will, maybe acting on temptation even, or doing or saying something that wouldn't really benefit the hearer or bring them closer to God.  My loving Father told me plain and clear last night that He is the One who controls, He is the One who will determine, He is the One who calls, leads and empowers. And He told me to just trust Him. So I surrendered that part of me to Him. Handing over my fears and worry and logic, I said "I trust You, and I will believe You are good".
Last night, my team sister Olivia and I went out to eat at Forbidden City Buffet, a Chinese restaurant. And much like our first time out to eat with them upon arriving in Chattanooga, our conversation consisted of eternal matters, the end times, why Jesus had to come, and the universe. Some of the stickest questions in my heart came out as we were talking, and though they weren't answered on human terms, I was assured that God can still be trusted and is still worthy of praise, and when I get to heaven, I might ask what His purpose was; even then, I may never know, and I have to be ok with that.
As we were getting up to leave, God made that desire in my heart to witness grow even stronger and brighter, and I sought what it was He wanted me to do.
 I heard a sweet: "Thank you fo coming!"
Our kind Chinese waitress was in the booth behind us sorting silverware. My brain immediately captured the image of her sitting there, alone. I've always worried about surrendering to the Spirits' leading because I never want to interrupt someone's schedule or impose on them, especially if they are with somebody else. There she was, quietly working, by herself in the booth. God told me to talk to her. I start walking out with our family. Suddenly, I have to use the restroom. (Classy, right? Just bear with me. ;) )
In the ladies' room, I'm asking "What should I even say? How do I start?"  God said, "Say you know Me, I know you, and ask her what you can pray for her about."  So I'm like, "She doesn't speak much English, what if I start talking and she doesn't know what I'm saying at all? God, will you make me speak Mandarin or something? Speak in tongues?"  God said, "Maybe I will. What difference does it make if I do? I'm asking you to go."   Then it hit me. All I'd read that morning was 1 Corinthians 14 & 15. While I'd been reading it I didn't know why I was. The majority of it had to do with speaking in tongues vs. prophesying.  The heading for chapter 15 was what had first grabbed my attention when I thumbed through looking for a portion to read: "Mystery and Victory". I had underlined, in verse 55, "'Death is swallowed up in victory.' O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"   The song we'd sung in church the night before echoed in my mind,
"The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated!
Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive, He is alive!"
That was incredible in itself. :)  God is so good.
So here I am, I've washed and dried my hands and I'm standing in the ladies' room trying to discern what to do, and my host sister Abigail comes in. (I probably looked like a deer in the headlights to her.)  She was afraid of how dark in was in that bathroom, and as she walks down to the other end of the room she asks me, "Did you see that lady behind us? Our waitress? She was listening to our conversation the whole time."
"Was she really?"
"Yeah. I don't know how much she like, understood, but she was watching us the entire time."
Abigail couldn't see me, but as I told her later, I was laughing and looking up at the ceiling, mouthing, "Really? Really?"
She keeps talking (for the purpose of stalling me so she wouldn't be in there alone, she later tells me), and says that she thinks God would want someone to talk to her, like maybe this lady doesn't know about God. "I mean, maybe she isn't going to heaven, you know?"
"You know what, Abigail?" And I told her all of what I was experiencing and what God was telling me then.
"Really?!?"
I was laughing in such a mixture of terror and delight as I'd never known before. "Yeah. I'm going to go talk to her, because... yeah, I'm just going!"
Let's go, God.

The last thing I heard of before the door closed was "Go Angie!"

Help me, Father, help me. 
Our waitress was no longer in the booth but was standing by the little room where the dish carts and brooms were, between the eating area and the buffet.  Her face lit up as I approached her and started talking to her.  I asked her what her name was, and she replied (I won't share their names on here for safety purposes, but I'll call her Caty*.)  I introduced myself.  From there, it went something like this:
"Well, I'm a Christian. I believe in God. I talk with God and God talks to me, and He told me to pray for you. I wanted to ask you if there's anything I can be praying for you about?"
She asked, "Who?"
"God." I pointed up.
"Oh, okay." She repeated it in Chinese. I am almost certain she said "Shen", but I couldn't clearly understand her.  (I looked up Chinese names of God, and Shen is a generic term for God, spirit, or soul.)
I asked her again how I could pray for her, and she told me she doesn't understand English too good. In case you're curious at this point, no, I didn't start speaking in Chinese. But she waved over her manager to help translate because she wanted to know exactly what I was saying. Yay, two people! I thought for a brief second.
I repeated all of what I said to her manager, Audrey*, and as she replied politely it was evident she didn't know English much better than Caty did.  Trying again to simplify, I said everyone has difficulties and problems and family, and I asked if there were any problems or family that I could pray for. Audrey replied that no, they (she answered for Caty without translating) didn't really have any problems, but just to pray that everyone at work there would have a good day each day and that everyone who comes into the restaurant would have good days. I promised to pray for that and for them; seeing that Audrey was wanting to get back to work and that she wanted Caty to as well, I thanked them for talking and said goodbye.
Walking back to where Olivia, our host dad and Abigail sat near the waiting room, I suddenly realized my face was probably bright red. I've never felt my face get that hot before. "Chief" Aaron, our host dad, was smirking at me, and as I walked toward them I passed the fishpool that held their 3-foot long fancy goldfish-looking-fish, and I randomly remarked, "That is one big fish!" to them and laughed.
(And wow. I just realized another puzzle piece in this whole story! More on that towards the end!)
Abigail says, "Yeah, I told them! That is just so cool!" During our car ride home, she shared with me that after our conversation at dinner, after talking about eternity and salvation, she was feeling pretty worried and questioned whether she was saved. She's been worried about having it all wrong for a while now, and had been asking God to give her a sign that she was saved. And after our dinnertime discussion, she asked God to assure her. When she told me what she did in the restroom, about feeling like somebody should tell our waitress behind us about God, she had done it to stall me so she wouldn't be freaked out all alone in the dark bathroom. God used even her dislike of anything black and her fear of the dark in the night's series of events. And as we talked the whole ride home and realized how many little pieces had added up, it was overwhelmingly evident that only God had orchestrated each one to take place. We both got giddy.  The waitresses' response was not long or profound... I still found myself wondering today if I should have said or asked something else... neither of the ladies got saved, which does break my heart whenever I think about it. But the happenings of last night were nothing short of a divine intervention in my life and in Abigails', simutaneously, for the glory of God. He filled our hearts with such joy, just in knowing that He is so powerful, He deserves all the glory, and He cares enough to do such a thing to assure us of that. One comment Abigail made in the car ride stuck with me.
"I don't think God would've chosen to use me and you and speak to both of us like that and arrange all that  if we weren't His own, like saved."
I am His.
Have I grasped that before?
"My dad once explained it to me like this," she continued. "It's like the DNA I have in me. Like, my blood. Like, if I were to commit murder and steal and be a horrible person, I'd still have his DNA. No matter what.  I could die and you could drain all the blood out of me... but I would still be his daughter. That wouldn't change. And that's what it's like to be saved."
I was so taken aback. I'm still in a state of shock over it. I thought I'd come to really grasp this, when I finally grasped the concept of Jesus paying for it all for me, this past Easter, of believing that nothing I can do can at all save me, that it is
ALL
on
Him.
But here I am. I believe Jesus when He says, "And no one can snatch them out of my hand." I know that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor demons, nor rulers nor principalities, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God.  I know that, and I believe it. Believing that is a choice. It's true whether I believe it or not. But my Master desires me to believe it, and now I do.

Yesterday was a day. I realized after I talked with Caty and Audrey... the world was still here. The world looked the same to me. I felt like the same person. I was still Angie. You see, somewhere, I got trapped in that same box of "the world is going to end if" mentality that I subconsciously get into with something I really care about. Nothing had changed. Yet everything had. I'd made this such an issue- a dealbreaker, almost- and now that God had taken me over that hurdle of fear, so swiftly and gently I hardly knew what was happening and yet vividly terrifying at the same time, I had a fiery joy inside me that I couldn't explain.
I'm still so amazed. I feel like I don't know what to do now. But I know what God can do, and what He will do in me. He proved it. He didn't have to. He didn't have to pay attention to my doubting soul. He didn't have to assure Abigail or I by speaking to our hearts clearly and strongly.
Not by human terms did He have to, anyways.
But it's His nature.
That is Who He is.
I have nothing else to say, really.
(The other amazing puzzle piece is this...I was going to write a blog post on it while we were in Pennsylvania... so, back at Winfield Baptist about two weeks ago, God directed me to Luke 5...
"On one occasion, while the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, and he saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon's, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat.  And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”  And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.”  And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.  They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”  For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken,  and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men." And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him."
Revealed insight:  The fish are the people we minister to. Our team is like the fishermen. Like Peter, I often think that what I'm doing has no evidence, so is it really worth it? Jesus tells us what is good and best and right to do, and requires a heart of obedient surrender.
Just do it, He whispers.
"At your word, I will let down the nets."  Every word spoken, every action, every moment is a moment of letting down the nets.  And though they'd been doing it all throughout the day and the during the time of darkness, they obeyed and did it again at Jesus' command. What they were doing was the right thing. And when they continued in obedience- not perfection, but obedience, for these fishermen were far from perfect- then, Jesus amazed them with a fulfillment of His word in His timing.

I just remembered my dramatic over-enthusiastic random comment about the big fish last night, while I was typing this. And God reminded me of Luke 5 and my prayer for obedience for me and every team member this year, back in Pennsylvania.
All the time, God is good.


*not their real names. ;)

One Day More

I feel as if I have aged years since I arrived at training camp five weeks ago. It still doesn't seem real that I will be heading out on the road tomorrow.  But all my crazy feelings aside. ;)  Here is what me and my Life Action team have been up to in these days!
Our first week here was called Seek Week; each day,  all three road teams, staff and staff families came together at the Camp and participated in passionate worship services and witnessed challenging messages from pastors in the LifeAction community. It was an incredible time of prayer, of people pouring out their hearts in praise to the Lord, and all around was evidence of much-needed heart renewal in the lives of people who are seeking to glorify the Lord. One of the brightest memories in my mind is how God used the teaching on His deep love to reassure my heart and radically refresh my perspective on why I am living. God reminded me that with Jesus' great love inside me, I need not fear man but only trust in Him, and that fears vanish when thanksgiving overflows.
Nearly every day, all of us CM's from the White,  Blue and Red road teams, have had the blessing of training all together for summits and conferences. We've learned skits, songs and verses from the curriculum, reviewed safety policies, practiced lessons and come together in prayer. Our third week here, we had the privilege of teaching a 3-day kid's program at a local church. This was one of my favorite things. :)  Having the opportunity to see and work with real kids after weeks of book learning excited and encouraged me beyond what I could have hoped for, and despite being very sick my first day teaching (and for the week following, actually!), it turned out to be a wonderful day of memories for me.  My three fellow club teachers -  Tyler, Jennifer, and Hannah- and I have also had time at the Camp here to work together on our Happy Heart City projects; we are all pumped for this year and are so excited to see how the Lord has brought us together as a group!
Besides the the CM training, my team (Red Team) has had opportunities to bond through a myriad of situations. Team competitions, shopping runs, work projects, game times and special meals together, plus a host of other random activities, have been incredibly edifying; we have a family already, and each of us is feeling so blessed to be in community with such amazing people who love the Lord wholeheartedly and love others deeply.  One Sunday the entire Red Team led worship and led the kid's Sunday School classes at Bertrand Bible Church, the home church of LifeActions' director, Byron Paulus. This past Sunday we visited Harvest, the church Trent Griffith pastors. When I was 10 years old and LifeAction first visited my church, Mr. Griffith and his family traveled with the team as the head revivalist; it was definitely nostalgic and bittersweet hearing him preach again after nine years.
One of the greatest changes that the Lord has done in my heart actually came through preparing for my lesson on Salvation for the Happy Heart City kids. Putting nineteen years of sermons, prayer, reading, books, discussions with other Christians, and just life all together and trying to come up with a ten minute way to tell kids about how Jesus is the only way to be saved from sin...it boggled my mind. The Lord came through as He always does. :)   After hours- well, days-  of preparation, it came time for me to present it to my fellow Childrens' Ministers to receive constructive critique and encourage, and I couldn't remember any of it. I had never been more nervous in my life.  I had several friends praying for me, and I couldn't do anything but ask God to give me His words. I got through the entire lesson without pause and had more gusto than I'd ever had when I practiced and more interaction than I counted on. I just remember sitting down afterwards and thinking, "What just happened."  But it was so clear. It was like for a second I saw God just smiling.  It was naught except His Spirit empowering me to remember and speak all that I did. He wanted me to see, to know what that feels like. I am so grateful to Him for letting it all happen so.
So here we are, about to board the bus in less than 24 hours. I don't know what to do with myself now that my bags are packed and my lessons are planned and my update is written.
Well, I guess I do.   I have a few hours left before my family comes down to say goodbye for the next four months.  I think God wants to talk with me for a bit.
Thank you all so much, for your love, encouragement and support. It means more to me than I can express. Love you all so very much.