"DEEP IN THE HEAAARRRRRRTTT OF TEXAAAAAS!"
"Everything's bigger in Texas!", I've been told.
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."
"From everlasting to everlasting, the name of the Lord is to be feared.
From Illinois to Viginia, from Tennessee to Texas, neither man nor beast nor Providence is far from me. As ridiculously blessed as I am, you'd think I would be more consistent in my joy and contentment; but alas, that hasn't been the case. But never fear. My Savior is here. :)
Let's see. In Illinois, my beloved sissy, Mom and Pops came to visit; much to our delight, we were granted our own little cabin to stay in for the five days. The first few days I was challenged extensively. I hadn't prepared myself for the emotional turmoil that came with trying to cross two worlds- my real family and my Life Action family. God granted so much grace, and though I didn't recognize or incorporate it into my attitude till three or four days after I should have, I am so thankful for God's (and my family's!) patience with me. Friday, our team went to a host family's farm and went mudding, saw their goats and chickens, jammed out in the barn and had a wonderful cookout together. No mudding experience would be complete without getting stuck, though, and I think at least half of us did. I'd told Becky when they arrived at the farm, I would attack her soon as I saw her. And attack I did, fabulously covered in mud from the field. :) Saturday, all four of us worked on cd duplication together until we were tuckered out. We all had fantastic conversations with each other, went for a scenic drive like old times, talked about plans, swapped stories, and played card games where we laughed till we cried. All activities, happiness, messes and emotions included, it's always a good time.
Much to our team's dismay, my fellow Happy Heart City Teacher Jennifer suffered a knee injury and had to return home for several weeks to heal. We are praying she recovers very quickly and is able to rejoin the team for our last few conferences of this travel season... because we miss her like crazy!
After Benton, Illinois, we traveled to Roanoke, Virginia. Sooooo many goofy little moments happened to, during, and after that Thirst. Oh boy. :) Allie and I roomed together with a sweet, generous, and partially sarcastic ``couple, the Baldwin's, who had a daughter our age we got to meet briefly while she was home from college on the weekend.
The Roanoke summit was, in a word, full. I was blessed with countless joy-filled times with my team brothers and sisters, and yet when I look back on it, I walked through some of the hardest times I've had to on the road so far. I had made my decision back in Benton to instead of travel with LifeAction Red Team again next year, to go home and plug into my home church and community there. My reasoning had see-sawed for weeks prior to that and I finally made my decision based on my emotions telling me it wasn't fair to travel again and be sick so often and not be there if my teammates need me. While there was some truth to that reasoning, I struggled with the decision to leave the team for several weeks afterwards, and I knew something was wrong with my choice. But there was nothing I could do, I told myself. Every night in Roanoke when I came home, I laid awake burdened by the fear I'd made the wrong decision for the wrong reason and, against my wishes found myself most nights crying myself to sleep. (Bear with me. :) It does get better.) One night, during team meeting, it was announced that all the children's ministry positions have been filled for next year's team and that Kristin, who's one of the singers on our team, is returning as a Base Camp teacher. It took a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it did, I almost drowned in my own sudden wave of tears. I couldn't contain the overwhelming realizations in my heart- first, that I really was not going to be with this family next year, all the while rejoicing that secondly, Kristin would be returning and getting the chance to be an incredible CM and remain where she believes God wants her. I wouldn't say that I was going through a dark place. It was all just so very heavy and I couldn't ignore the emotions. I am so thankful for God's grace that equipped me with a strange and abounding joy throughout it all so I could love and engage with the beautiful children we got to know & minister to that week in Happy Heart City. The best mind picture I can paint is one of sunshine breaking through stormclouds just before -not the minute before but more like the hour before -sunset.
Directly after the Roanoak conference our team headed up to the mountains to spend our Spring Break week at the Barn at Buladene with a couple, OJ and Myoshi. It was a fabulous week filled with hiking, board games, naps, discussion times, worship sessions, role-play, and, for me independently, running, reading, dancing on the benches of the outdoor chapel up the hill, practicing the cello and getting to talk with Myoshi about the work and benefits of neuthetic counseling.
After spring break we drove three days to Texas. Goodness, I love Texas. :) Okay.
The scenery was lush and green and spacious, nothing like the sparse dusty land I'd imagined. Suzanne and I stayed with an amazing elderly couple named Carol and Paul and dined with their neighbors (aka best friends) Kathy and Bill. I couldn't have asked for a more exciting, sweet, and spiritually encouraging host family experience. The four of them were best friends, the men adored their wives and showed them (and us- yay!) true gentlemenly manners, and the Mrs.'s were like sisters. I found a kindred spirit in Miss Kathy. She encouraged me so much to turn to the Lord in all circumstances, to trust in Him because He's always on my side, and rejoice in His presence, remembering He's molding and changing me out of His relentless love. Miss Kathy has Celiac disease. And she has such a grace and perseverance about her that I couldn't help but be inspired by. God placed her in my life at exactly the right time, because I had just begun to really struggle with my gluten-intolerance, feeling it was such an inconvenience to others and really tiring of all the attention I got because of it. (If I'm going to get attention I'd prefer it not be for something so menial so repetatively.) But! She, without meaning to, called me out of my hidden frustrated, selfish, state and turned my attention to God and to having a grateful heart for the way He made me, accepting that there are simply choices I have to make to be healthy so that I may serve those around me. It was easy to swallow because she spoke out of her compassionate and honest character. And I learned through her companionship once more what unsurpassable peace comes from choosing to thank the Lord.
Almost every night in HHC (Happy Heart City), we had between fifty and sixty 4-7 yr. olds- our largest group yet. The Lord is so good. Nearly every minute of each night felt like we were on the edge of collapse, disaster, avalanche...hopefully you get the drift. ;) I know there were some crazy mishaps, dozens of last-minute schedule changes, and wherever we weren't flexible before we stretched! For myself, it was the concept of taking charge of a big group of kids by myself, being all authoritative & exuberant at the same time. First Sunday morning we realized we had approximately 10 children who all needed one-on-one attention, and anywhere from 3-9 team members in the room at a time; but, we managed. Monday I realized we absolutely needed to make sure we weren't just "managing" or attempting to crowd control. We were placed there to minister as Jesus would to these kids, and to leave a footprint of love however and whenever we could, whether during craft time, song time, correction time (strikes were given, ladies and gentlemen), or through an extra dose of excitement about the game or lesson being taught! Was it stressful? Yes. Was it difficult? Indeed. But I can look back upon the club in Wedgwood and immediately smile fondly at the memory. Why? Because I truly enjoyed getting to live under such pressure for such a time, knowing all the while how God's got everything under control and He gave me exactly the right amount & right kind of grace for each child and each night to accomplish what he wanted. If that wasn't exciting enough, we teachers left knowing we could count it all joy just being a part of what God did in that church body. :) As an unexpected blessing, several of the children came running up to me at the end of the final service, squishing me with hugs and love, saying thank you and love you and wish you didn't have to go. Needless to say it was very hard to say goodbye to our host families and the people of their church. (p.s. Thank you, Mr. Jeff of Wedgwood for making me y'all's gluten free guinea pig to sample all the local places' GF options, and for checking up on me most every mealtime! It truly blessed me. )
I will write more about our most recent conference in DeLand Florida soon as my stuffy head is cleared a bit. All in all, God is faithful and good. He is teaching me much about persevering in the faith, knowing He is for me and His love never lets go of me. That's the source of true joy; that's my everlasting hope. Why wouldn't I sing and dance and laugh? Life is beautiful because He Is.
:)
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